there was a trapeze. enough said
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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