You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
