I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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