I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
