Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
