Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
