it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
