i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
