He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
