Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
