Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
