I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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