grandma shit on top of the toilet
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
