Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
