Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
