two words: eviction party
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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