i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
