Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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