apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bring me that man meat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
