You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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