i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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