Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
