We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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