David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
