What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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