there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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