Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
