i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
