At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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