Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
