and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
