dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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