people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
