so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
