right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
