went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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