She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
