Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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