i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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