If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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