ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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