I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
