Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
