life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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