She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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