party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
