Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
