Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I need to sanitize my soul.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
