Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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