they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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